And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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