Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
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