i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
