Porn is love you can see.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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