so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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