He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
