she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just pee around me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
