It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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