Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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