Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
