You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
