I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and she was petting her beer can
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
