does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
