i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
