i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
