he shaved USA in his pubs
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
