Banned from zoo.
Again?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I party with great urgency now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
