Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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