So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize