3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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