gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
this will be a night to untag.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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