YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Your dad touched me again.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
