I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
