Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
