He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize