My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
