I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
please don't ironically join a cult
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