Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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