if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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