FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
