maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
