oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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