just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
