i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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