Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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