I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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