she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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