There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
