you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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