The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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