bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize