Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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