like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
