You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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