I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
