He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
