Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
