I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
