if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
