you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
