Your tits are I can't wait for
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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