you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
