Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize