I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
