I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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