He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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