KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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