Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
