my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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