Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
