people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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